For the love of the season, October, Oh October!

10/7/2015
Mercury Retrograde ends in two days and I know not one who desires this charade to continue! As this transition has unfolded, for me illusion dissolved into disillusion which ultimately transformed reality for me. I feel with new found spiritual and emotional clarity and truly feel as though I have finally come full circle with my Saturn Returns. I am highly anticipating the Libra new moon on October 12 which is said to amplify the affects of the retrogrades completion on October 9th. 

Looking forward to the new year Samhain festivities playing out over the next few weeks! One thing I do cherish about New Orleans is that we love and celebrate Samhain or Halloween as the pinnacle of holidays overcoming occasions such as Thanksgiving and Christmas without a second thought. For New Orleanians, the only true contenders with Halloween are Mardi Gras and Game Day (which is every Saints game). For me, the latter two carry little meaning other than the fact that Mardi Gras controls the traffic in the city for months and Game Day's are always followed by depressive or manic episodes that overcome the city with a palpable, powerful presence. 

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10/9/2015
I feel an immense oneness. Upon waking this morning; for the first time in a very long time, I feel rested. I did focus on healing yesterday, yet often that doesn't translate into a state of well-being. 

I think this state is a combination of things; the conclusion of Mercury Retrograde, spending yesterday resting and healing, denying the influence of those who desire to bring negativity into my life with their dubious and telltale behaviour, and from the death of my muses. 

I have been controlled by the influence of my muses out of an idealized love and subsequent devotion on all levels for as long as I can remember.. These cosmological connections I have with these women is truly fantastical, yet has utterly drained me of my own agency in countless ways. Having exhausted logic with these threads, I have moved to deny all of them for the first time in my recollection. 

As an Artist, I am driven by an insatiable passion to admire and emulate the qualities of the divine. Yet, I have found much fault in my attributing divinity to those in real life. In the end, the humanistic factor always over shadows the divine qualities and so the muse clips her own wings in the process. The subsequent fall from grace mortally strikes the goddess and destroys the illusion for the poet.

When I had nothing before, at least I had my muses. Not anymore.

Now, I am a free Artist - Devoted to my Art. 

 

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